Verify InsuranceGet Directions
Get Help Now (732) 333-3167
Discovery Institute
  • Detox
    • Alcohol Detox
    • Amphetamine Detox
    • Benzodiazepine Detox
    • Cocaine Detox
    • Drug Detox
    • Medical Detox
    • Opiate Detox
    • Prescription Drug Detox
    • Meth Detox
    • Fentanyl Detox
    • Heroin Detox
  • Residential Treatment
    • Rehab
    • Treatment for Young Adults
    • Treatment for Adults
    • Treatment for Seniors
  • Programs
    • Intensive Outpatient Program
    • Addiction Counseling
      • Individual Therapy
      • Group Therapy
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
      • Dialectical Behavior Therapy
      • Equine Therapy
      • Family Therapy
    • Dual Diagnosis
      • ADHD and Addiction
      • Anxiety and Addiction
      • Bipolar Disorder and Addiction
      • Depression and Addiction
      • Eating Disorders and Addiction
      • OCD and Addiction
      • PTSD and addiction
      • Personality Disorders and Addiction
    • Holistic Addiction Treatment
    • Relapse Prevention
    • Telehealth Treatments
    • Treatment Planning
    • Vocational Services
    • Alumni Program
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Family Support
    • Addiction Guides
      • Am I an Addict?
      • Addiction & Health Problems
      • The Stages of Addiction
      • Guide for Parents of Addicts
      • Guide for Spouses of Addicts
      • Guide for the Children of Addicts
      • Understanding Overdose
      • Going Through Withdrawal
    • Insurance Coverage
      • Verify Your Insurance
      • Aetna Insurance
      • Blue Cross Blue Shield
      • Emblemhealth Insurance
      • Prosper
      • Tricare Insurance
      • Humana Insurance
      • Oxford Healthcare
      • United Healthcare
      • MHC for Treatment
      • 1199 Insurance
      • Princeton Health/MedPro Health Insurance
      • Horizon NJ Insurance
      • New York Hotel Trade Insurance
      • NY State Empire Plan Insurance
      • Empire Bluecross Blueshield
      • Iron Workers Local #40 Insurance
      • Qualcare
      • Beacon Health Options
      • Magnacare
      • Magellan
      • Amerihealth
      • Anthem Bluecross Blueshield
    • Interventions
    • Overdose Response Initiative
      • Naloxone Finder
      • Distribution
      • Overdose Resources
    • Sober Living
    • FAQ’s
    • Helpful Links
  • About
    • Our Purpose
    • Our Team
    • Our Facility
    • Our Technology
    • Our Research
    • Our Editorial Policy
  • Contact
    • Admissions
    • Directions
    • Referral
    • Careers
Treatment
Home / Blog / How to Find an AA Sponsor and How to Be a Good AA Sponsor

How to Find an AA Sponsor and How to Be a Good AA Sponsor

Written by

Dr. Michael DeShields

Posted On: March 7, 2021
How to Find an AA Sponsor and How to Be a Good AA Sponsor

Jump to Section

Toggle
    • Table of Contents
  • The Meaning of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • What is an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What Does an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor Do?
  • How Do I Find the Right Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What You Should Consider When Choosing an AA Sponsor
  • How to Be a Good AA Sponsor
  • Discovery Institute Is Here to Serve Your Addiction Treatment Needs

Table of Contents

  • The Meaning of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • What is an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What Does an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor Do?
  • How Do I Find the Right Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What You Should Consider When Choosing an AA Sponsor
  • How to Be a Good AA Sponsor
  • Discovery Institute Is Here to Serve Your Addiction Treatment Needs

addiction-treatment-programsRecovering from alcoholism is a lifelong journey that you’re going to need support to do well in. One person who can help give you the support that you need as a recovering alcoholic is an AA sponsor. It’s strongly advised that recovering alcoholics get AA sponsors to help them stay on track in their recovery process.

You should make sure that the AA sponsor that you choose is well-equipped to take on the AA sponsor’s responsibilities. It’s also important that AA sponsors are confident in their ability to be AA sponsors. Thus, if someone asks you to be an AA sponsor, make sure that you’re ready to take on the role. Otherwise, you should deny the request for you to be an AA sponsor.

Being an AA sponsor is an important job. That’s why we’re giving you a guide right here on how to find an AA sponsor. Here, you will also learn how to be a good AA sponsor and help yourself and others maintain sobriety.

The Meaning of Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous, commonly referred to as “AA,” is a support group led by peers for individuals recovering from issues related to alcohol consumption. Participants may face challenges such as excessive drinking, binge drinking, alcohol dependency, or alcohol use disorder. AA welcomes individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and recovery stages.

Attendance at meetings is free, and they typically take place in community venues such as religious institutions or local centers. The interpretation of Alcoholics Anonymous can differ among individuals. Some may use the abbreviation “AA” to refer to any 12-step program, while others may specifically denote the broader international organization.

Generally, however, AA signifies a collective of individuals striving to overcome addiction by sharing their experiences and providing mutual support. The AA program is based on a 12-step spiritual framework that focuses on establishing a connection with a higher power, promoting healing, forgiveness, and inner peace. The ultimate objective is to achieve a fulfilling life free from alcohol. AA meetings are widely accessible, and numerous sessions are likely available in your local area each week.

What is an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) groups utilize recovery sponsors called AA sponsors, or alcoholics anonymous sponsors. These people are typically more experienced members capable of providing guidance and support to those who are newer to the program. These sponsors often possess approximately a year of sobriety and are willing to assist individuals who are just beginning their journey through the 12 steps, even if they have only been in recovery for a few weeks.

What Does an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor Do?

A sponsor in recovery serves as a mentor. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are not considered professional treatment, as they are led by peers rather than licensed or certified professionals. Although there are drawbacks to this approach, one significant advantage is that all participants understand the challenges of recovery, as they are all actively engaged in the process.

Having a sponsor through an AA community can enhance your recovery by providing valuable insights tailored to your circumstances. A mentor fosters confidence by helping you recognize your strengths and integrate them into your everyday life, while also offering a sense of accountability. You and your sponsor may convene several times a month to discuss strategies for preventing relapse and to review personal and treatment-related objectives.

How Do I Find the Right Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?

AA members are expected to find their own AA sponsors. To do this, AA members must simply go up and ask someone to be their AA sponsor. Just make sure that the person that you will follow up and ask to be your AA sponsor is a recovering alcoholic who is stable in sobriety and much further along in his or her addiction recovery journey than you are.

Selecting a recovery sponsor for Alcoholics Anonymous is not merely a matter of approaching the first individual with whom you feel a connection during a meeting. It is advisable to consider the following guidelines for choosing an appropriate sponsor to ensure your long-term success in recovery.

how to find an AA sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymous

Find a sponsor who has been sober for at least one year

The initial year of recovery presents the greatest challenges. The early days and weeks are often marked by intense physical cravings, while emotional struggles typically emerge in the subsequent months. Generally, after about a year, recovery begins to stabilize, providing a greater sense of security against relapse. When seeking a mentor for Alcoholics Anonymous, it is essential to consider this timeline. It is advisable to choose a sponsor who is considerably more advanced in their sobriety journey than you are. Additionally, this individual should have a sponsor.

Regularly attend AA meetings

Impressions are subject to change as time progresses; therefore, it may be prudent to avoid asking about a sponsor during your initial meeting. You might discover that an individual you initially perceived as an ideal match may prove to be less reliable or consistent than you had anticipated. The best tip for how to find an AA sponsor is to regularly attend AA meetings. That’s because 12-step meetings are the best places to stay sober and to meet other recovering alcoholics.

AA 12-step program meetings are also great places for AA members to find a sponsor because they’re open to new and old recovering alcoholics. Thus, you can easily find someone who’s far along in his or her addiction recovery journey and has already gone through most, if not all, of the 12 steps at an AA 12-step meeting.

Chose someone you can be honest with

Establishing a sense of comfort with your sponsor is crucial. Your discussions are likely to encompass personal and sensitive information related to your triggers. There may be instances where you must acknowledge a relapse or other concerning behaviors that could lead you astray. It is essential to choose someone with whom you can communicate openly to significantly influence your recovery journey.

Listen to what others say at meetings

Another tip for how to find an AA sponsor is to listen to others during your AA 12-step meetings. Listening to what others say about themselves during 12-step AA meetings can give invaluable insights to help you find an AA sponsor that you’re confident is stable in sobriety and far along in his or her addiction recovery journey.

Listening to others at AA 12-step meetings can also help you find a person who has similarities to you. You might want to find someone with some physical, mental, emotional, or experiential similarities to you to be your AA sponsor so that he or she can better understand you and your needs. Just make sure to not find someone too similar to you. That’s because having some physical, mental health, emotional, and experiential differences between you and your AA sponsor can help your AA sponsor provide you with different perspectives about your addiction journey.

Pray and Meditate on Your Choice of an AA Sponsor Before Picking One

A third tip for how to find an AA sponsor is to pray and meditate on your AA sponsor pick. While choosing an AA sponsor is important, choosing the wrong AA sponsor can negatively affect you long-term. Thus, it’s important to pray and meditate on your decision. Even if you’re not religious, praying and meditating on your decision can help you confidently choose the right AA sponsor.

Ask the group leader for advice

While asking someone to be your AA sponsor may seem awkward at first, once you do it, you’ll be relieved. As long as you’ve taken the time to listen and pick a fellow recovering alcoholic who is stable in sobriety, thoroughly understands the 12-step process, and is far along in his or her addiction recovery journey, then you have nothing to lose by asking that person to be your AA sponsor.

The journey of recovery can often seem challenging, particularly during the initial days, weeks, and months of sobriety. Fortunately, there are specific, practical, and actionable measures you can undertake to facilitate healing and achieve lasting freedom from alcohol. One such measure involves collaborating with a recovery sponsor, while another crucial step is seeking professional treatment.

If you find yourself uncertain about selecting an appropriate recovery sponsor after several meetings, it is advisable to consult the group leader. They are likely to possess valuable insights regarding the regular attendees and can guide you toward an individual who is compatible with your personality and stable in their sobriety.

What You Should Consider When Choosing an AA Sponsor

There are many things that you should consider before choosing an AA sponsor. Some of these things are described below.

How far along the AA sponsor in their recovery journey

You should always consider how stable your prospective AA sponsor is in his or her sobriety and how far along your AA sponsor is in his or her addiction recovery journey before making that person your AA sponsor. To know how to be a good AA sponsor to you, a recovering alcoholic should be very stable in his or her sobriety and much further along in his or her addiction recovery journey than you are.

You should also make sure that your prospective AA sponsor is very knowledgeable about the AA 12-step program. Otherwise, that person won’t be able to guide you through it.

The availability of your prospective AA sponsor

Another thing that you should consider when choosing an AA sponsor is how much time that person has available. This is an important factor because AA sponsors must be available to their sponsees in some way at all times. Therefore, make sure that your prospective AA sponsor doesn’t have a ton of AA sponsees already.

Also, make sure that your prospective AA sponsor doesn’t have a busy life schedule. That way he or she can be your AA sponsor.

If the person wants to be an AA Sponsor

It’s important to also consider if your prospective AA sponsor even wants to be an AA sponsor. Not everyone that’s far along in addiction recovery and the AA 12-step likes to mentor others. Thus, before choosing an official AA sponsor, make sure that being an AA sponsor is something that that person wants.

Developing a sponsor-sponsee relationship

A highly effective method for identifying an appropriate sponsor is to consistently participate in AA meetings, as this environment fosters the organic development of relationships with potential sponsors. It is through shared experiences and a mutual comprehension of the difficulties associated with addiction that a sponsor-sponsee relationship has established a solid foundation.

Many people choose AA sponsors that are of the same sex as them. That way, they will not develop a sexual attraction to their AA sponsors. Alcoholics who are in the LGBTQ community may want to choose AA sponsors who are a different sex to them.

Similarities and differences between you and your prospective AA sponsor

You should also consider the level of similarities and differences that you have with your prospective AA sponsor. You should have enough similarities between your AA sponsor and you to make it easy for your AA sponsor to understand you. On the flip side, you should have enough differences between your AA sponsor and you so that your AA sponsor can provide you with different perspectives about your addiction.

Trusting your prospective AA sponsor

Another thing that you should consider when choosing an AA sponsor is how much you can trust him or her. If your gut allows you to trust someone with all the other qualities of a good AA sponsor, then he or she is likely a good choice of an AA sponsor for you.

How to Be a Good AA Sponsor

If someone is asking you to be his or her AA sponsor, before saying yes, you should make sure that you have what it takes to be a good AA sponsor. Below are some ways that you can be a good AA sponsor.

Be even-tempered

To learn how to be a good AA sponsor, you must first learn how to be even-tempered. Being even-tempered is important as an AA sponsor because you will be the listening ear to a vulnerable recovering alcoholic.

Have at least one year of sobriety

To be a good AA sponsor, you must be stable in your sobriety. Thus, you should have at least one year of sustained sobriety already under your belt.

Know your 12-Steps

Good AA sponsors have also been attending 12-step AA meetings for quite some time and fully understand the 12-step program. By having such extensive knowledge of the AA 12-step program, you will be able to guide someone else through the program.

Have a desire to sponsor someone

If you’re not somewhat passionate about something, you’re not going to dedicate the time and effort to be good at it. Thus, before learning how to be a good AA sponsor, you must have a genuine desire to do so.

Don't sponsor people that you're attracted to

AA sponsors should never enter romantic relationships with their sponsees. Thus, to avoid this from happening, good AA sponsors should not allow themselves to be AA sponsors to people that they’re sexually attracted to.

Be available

Good AA sponsors are always available to communicate with their sponsees. Therefore, if you don’t have much time on your hands, you shouldn’t be an AA sponsor.

Be a good listener

Much of what an AA sponsor does is listen to their sponsees. Thus, good AA sponsors are good listeners.

Invest in and encourage your sponsees

Good AA sponsors are invested in the progress that their sponsees are making in their addiction recovery. As a result, good AA sponsors often push their sponsees to gain more perspectives about their journeys with addiction so that they can better understand their triggers and learn more ways to manage their addiction. Some ways that good AA sponsors encourage their sponsees are by giving them AA literature to read or making them attend different AA group meetings.

Don’t Impose personal views on your sponsees

While the AA 12-step program is based on some holistic spiritual values, good AA sponsors know not to take it any further and push their religious beliefs or personal views on life onto their sponsees. Therefore, if you want to learn how to be a good AA sponsor, don’t force your personal beliefs onto others.

Discovery Institute Is Here to Serve Your Addiction Treatment Needs

Group holding hands in a support meeting, emphasizing the importance of an AA sponsorHere at Discovery Institute, we know the value and mutual support of AA sponsors. That’s why we encourage the recovering alcoholics who attend our alcohol detox and addiction treatment programs to get one. We also encourage the recovering addicts of our other drug detox and addiction treatment programs to find a sponsor or someone that they can lean on for support while in recovery.

Here at Discovery Institute, we provide the highest quality clinical care through evidence-based practices. Through such care, we help alcohol and drug addicts overcome their addictions.

To learn more about Discovery Institute and the detox and addiction treatment programs that we offer, contact us today. Our compassionate treatment specialists are available 24 hours a day to take your call.

Dr. Michael DeShields

Clinical Advisor

Read More

Need Professional Help With Addiction?

  • New Jersey Addiction Treatment
  • Addiction & Mental Health Programs
  • Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) in New Jersey
  • Dual Diagnosis Treatment in New Jersey
  • Drug & Alcohol Detox Programs

Addiction Recovery & Detox

  • Depressant Drugs: Long-Term Side Effects
  • Involuntary Commitment Laws in New Jersey
  • Sleeping Pill Addiction
  • How to Find an AA Sponsor
  • 10 Common Questions About Alcohol Detox
  • Foods That Fight Depression
  • How Substance Abuse Affects Marriage

Drug & Substance Abuse FAQs

  • What Do Shrooms feel Like?
  • How Does Drinking Affect the Thyroid?
  • Can Adderall Cause a Heart Attack?
  • Can You Overdose on Cough Drops?
  • Does Alcohol Cause Mood Swings?
  • Are You Dealing With Dry Drunk Syndrome?
  • How Does Alcohol Affect Cortisol?
  • Do Illegal Drugs Cause Hair Loss?
  • What Drugs Cause Dilated Pupils?
  • Can Alcohol Abuse Cause Multiple Sclerosis?

Are You Covered For Insurance Treatment?

Insurance Logo
Insurance Logo
Insurance Logo
Insurance Logo
Insurance Logo
Insurance Logo
Learn More

Our Editorial Policy

The Discovery Institute aims to provide accurate, ethical, clinically sound information regarding addiction and mental health for individuals and their families. All content published by The Discovery Institute is reviewed for accuracy and clarity by qualified individuals and is medically reviewed. We aim to make complicated subjects easy to understand without resorting to fear-based marketing techniques or misleading assurances. Content is regularly reviewed and updated to reflect current best practices, ensuring readers receive reliable, supportive guidance.

Read More About Our Process

Copyright © 2026 Discovery Institute. All Rights Reserved.

Accessibility Toolbar

  • Powered with favoriteLove by Codenroll

GET IN TOUCH

We’re Ready When You Are.

Call 24/7 to have a discussion with one of our treatment professionals the call is completely free. Admission Line and explanation of convenient private phone and free prescreening.

Need Help? Contact Us

(732) 333-3167

       

Schedule Your Admission

Free assessment and 100% confidential  
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Footer Logo
  (732) 333-3167
  80 Conover Rd
Marlboro, NJ 07746
       
Joint-Commission

About Discovery

  • About
  • Meet Our Staff
  • Admissions Information
  • Contact Us
  • Get Directions
  • Review Us
  • Find Us On the Web
  • COVID-19 Protocols

Rehab & Treatment

  • Rehab Programs
  • Drug Rehab
  • Alcohol Detox
  • Drug Detox

Get Directions

Map

Addiction Resources

  • Learn About Addiction
  • Am I An Addict
  • Common Rehab Questions
  • Insurance Verification

Copyright © 2025. All Rights Reserved. Discovery Institute Recovery Center | Privacy Policy | Accessibility

Jump to Section

×
    • Table of Contents
  • The Meaning of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • What is an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What Does an Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor Do?
  • How Do I Find the Right Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor?
  • What You Should Consider When Choosing an AA Sponsor
  • How to Be a Good AA Sponsor
  • Discovery Institute Is Here to Serve Your Addiction Treatment Needs
→ Table of Contents