It’s so emotionally difficult to support a loved one who is struggling with substance abuse. And that pain and exhaustion is escalated when the one with chemical dependency issues is your own flesh and blood, your child. Everyone struggles with confronting a loved one but it’s harder when your child has grown into an adult, and you’re worried you’ll lose that relationship if you come off as harsh, or if they sense an ultimatum of some kind as you shift your relationship with them from harmful to, hopefully constructive and healing.


When You Realize You’ve Been Enabling Instead of Helping

It’s might not be possible for a loving parent to look in the face of their child’s addiction and calmly get them outside help. There’s a need to have a sense of control over your son or daughter’s wellbeing that, even if your child has been grown for some time, never goes away for a parent. You want to be able to make sure your son or daughter has everything they need in life, and you want to be able to give it to them. But you’ve been letting them stay with you, you’ve been paying their bills, and giving them money all in the name of unconditional love. But now you know, it’s time to stop. Love in the face of addiction looks like licensed medical professional addiction treatment in New Jersey.


Discovery InstituteHow Do I Stop The Cycle Without My Child Feeling Abandoned?

  1. Approach Every Situation with Compassion – don’t forget to come to your child with calm emotions and a strong sense of compassion for their suffering. Remember that they aren’t doing this to you. They do need your honesty, but that honesty should still sound like love. Do everything you can to prepare for the conversation even up to writing out what you want to say and talking with a trusted friend or partner.
  2. Unconditional Love – Try not to become bitter at how much your addicted child has taken advantage of you. That’s a tall order because once you see the enabling, it’s easy to put the blame on the addict. But the truth is, addiction is complicated and there is no clear way to place blame. Instead offer them the unconditional love that was the motivation for enabling in the first place, by being calm and honest as you approach the subject of getting them real help at a NJ detox center.
  3. Help Them Get Help – Once you have that conversation with them, call right then and there. At the Discovery Institute, we are here to help you and your addicted son or daughter find the best rehab treatment plan for them. Call us at  844-478-6563 for more information on how to help your child struggling with a chemical dependency.
  4. PersistenceSober living in New Jersey is possible for your child. Don’t let yourself get discouraged if the first conversation with them does not result in immediate detoxification and rehabilitation. Keep trying to talk with them honestly about their struggle. Dont accuse, don’t nag, but also don’t return to enabling. Be persistent in your constructive care by learning more about ways they can get medical professional help. The best thing you can do for your child is show them over and over again that treatment is the best course of action to live a full life and that the best thing you can do for them now is to support them through that process.


Reviewed for Medical & Clinical Accuracy by Dr. Jeffrey Berman, MD

Dr. Jeffrey Berman, MDDr. Jeffrey Berman is a psychiatrist in Teaneck, New Jersey and is affiliated with Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital. He received his medical degree from State University of New York Upstate Medical University and has been in practice for more than 20 years. He also speaks multiple languages, including French and Hebrew.

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